I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
