she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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