sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
