What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
