three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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