Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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