Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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