I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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