If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
