Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
