Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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