We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Soap is not a condiment
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
