idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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