Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
