Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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