i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
