you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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