I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
