That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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