Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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