i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
