:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
