Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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