I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
