porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She told me I should be a condom model.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
