Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What drink are we having for lunch?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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