Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
