Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
two words...techno handjob
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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