i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
