Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
