me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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