Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
