My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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