so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
