what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
