Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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