they said they heard you say put it in my butt
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
