There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
