I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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