My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
