So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
