does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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