I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
