I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
