There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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