Do you still have your period?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
