I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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