He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize