ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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