I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize