If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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