I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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