I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
