Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize