I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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