dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
