would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize