I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize