Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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